Something’s Gotta Give

And so I’ve finally caved in. I’ve joined the ranks of parents who lust a bit over a CBeebies person. I’ve never hidden my complete love for Jen off Milkshake on Channel 5. That’s a given. She’s fit. Even if she does have a funny accent. For those who don’t know, or simply won’t do Channel 5, here she is.

She’s so smiley. And pert.

Sometimes my son chooses CBeebies over Milkshake but I exercise the only control I have left. My ability to put the remote on a high shelf. No way he’s switching to CBeebies while Jen’s on. Ha! Take that toddler! Dad 1 – you NIL.

But on Monday something odd happened to me. I was watching Nina and the Neurons with my kids. A good show I thought.  Science shizzle. Dr B is a scientist. Getting the kids interested in science is good. But that’s not what actually sprang up. That’s not what caused a slight moment of careful contemplation. That’s not what made me realise that we’d run out of hankies and I should buy more forethwith.

Nina was desirable. I saw her squint at the camera in a saucy way. For me. No doubt. Noticed the little freckle on her neck. Noticed her nail varnish, long nails and thought ‘Wow, doesn’t she have nice hands!’

That telescope was flaccid before she entered the room

I tweeted this and was met with a series of ‘Really? Seriously?’ type tweets. Some from people who have confessed to having a thing for Mr Bloom, a man who looks like a scarecrow and walks like he has a hot potato up his batty, or from people who’ve said that Mr Maker is a bit of alright, and that’s just plain wrong.

Nina. Nina and Her Neurons. No. Just Nina. And me. Having a coffee so she can show me how the steam from the coffee does something sciencey. I’m hoping next season they’ll do an episode on sexytime, and as such I have drafted a letter to CBeebies requesting such an episode and putting myself forward as one of her experimenters. Gotta be in it to win it.

For those who don’t see what I see, have poured scorn, Nina is now mine. And this is what you could’ve won.

Here’s 10p luv…

I realise now I have fully entered parentdom. Although I’m not as worried about my crushes as I am those of that@motherventing – who has a strange taste in men

Feel free to list your crushes. Old or new. Or attach a link to a blog post you’ve written about something similar. Although if anyone else goes for Nina I will see you on the Common at dawn. Swords or guns, I don’t mind…

First published February 7th, 2012

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