I’ve felt a little flat of late. Not down or depressed or anything, just flat. There are lots of reasons for this, which I won’t go into, but today I decided that I need to get some weapons in the armoury to help me deal with such moments.
The kids were at pre-school and so I was alone with my thoughts, and singing ‘Shipbuilding’ by Elvis Costello meant that these thoughts weren’t exactly 100% upbeat. So I thought of some things that I could do, should do, or should think about to make me feel better. Here’s what I came up with;
- Listen to Pass Out by Tinie Tempah. It has two lyrics in it which make me laugh: “I got so many clothes I keep some in ma aunts house” and “I bin Southampton but I’ve never bin to Scunthorpe.” Plus I can bogle to it like a good ‘un.
- Eat cheese. It always lifts my mood. Some people do chocolate, I do cheese. I do my cheese, your cheese and any cheese that’s put near me.
- Speak to a friend.
- Call BT and tell them about my new Spring deals. Surprisingly they put the phone down on me after the third call.
- Scoot around the garden on my son’s scooter. I always tell him to not go too fast otherwise he’ll smash into the garden fence and hurt himself. Perhaps I should’ve taken my own advice.
- Take a crap on the front lawn. The neighbour’s cats seem to enjoy it so why shouldn’t I give it a go?
- Put my shoes on the wrong feet and go for a walk, saying hello to everyone I meet. I did this but no-one seemed to notice my feet.
- Slide down the ladder from the loft with a banana in my hand and pretending to blast Darth Vader’s stormtroopers to bits upon landing. I did this 16 times.
- Clean something.
- Imagine Olly Murs putting on a hat which he didn’t know was full of runny, watery shit.
- Hop around the house pretending to be a frog. Then pretend to be a riding a horse escaping from the massive frog that’s chasing it. With clip clop noises and all that.
- Climb inside a duvet cover and walk around the house pretending to be a slice of toast.
- Listen to Simply The Best and imagine the lyrics, which you’re singing loudly in the garden, are all about you. Contemplate having it as your ringtone or doorbell.
And so I did some of these things, and did I feel any better? A little. But my flat mood lifted much quicker when the kids got home and T asked me if he could help me make dinner, and my daughter gave me a cuddle.
What do you do to boost you up when you’re feeling a little deflated?
First published March 7th, 2012.