A thing of awesome power

Few things in this world have as much power as the winky face emoticon.

This bad boy. 😉

It doesn’t matter what you write, by text or tweet, email or other form of instant message. It can be insulting, inflammatory or just plain wong, but if you follow that statement with a winky face then you’re blameless. It’s like a get out of jail free card.

That meal you cooked the other night tasted like SHIT 😉

You dance like a prolific masturbator having a fit 😉

See. You can say anything and you’re excused. Well, almost anything.

David Cameron is a charming and sensitive lover 😉

That Robert Mugabe strikes me as an astute politician 😉

I’ve always loved Coldplay 😉

Nope. You can basically say anything you like and whack a winky at the end and it becomes something else. It still has power even when preceded by the most ridiculous statements. It’s like the best thing ever. Seriously, people should get onto this. Politicians should incorporate the winky face in manifestos to get them out of trouble once they get into power. When you sign the register at your wedding, always stick a winky at the end JUST IN CASE IT ALL GOES HORRIBLY WRONG. Letters to the bank about reducing overdraft facility should always have a winky at the end.

One man did cotton onto this early. John  Hancock, statesman, merchant, legendary wig wearer and President of Congress during the War of Independence, knew this. Historians in cardigans have recently unearthed a copy of the Declaration of Independence which, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin thought was a little inappropriate. This is the original copy with John Hancock’s original John Hancock. They made him re-sign it and, at that moment, Tipp-Ex was invented.

But, put the winky face in the wrong place and all Hell opens up in front of you.

You looked great the other night. 😉

Yeah, of course, I always knew you were a size 12. 😉

Thanks for the sex. You were great at the sex. It was really good the sex 😉

The power of the winky. The awesome power of the winky. Use it wisely and, you can pretty much say what the fuck you like and sleep soundly at night.

Thanks for reading. You bunch of eejits. 😉

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