Crimea and the Ukraine. Explained from a parenting perspective.

Ukraine

  • The small kids (Ukraine) want to play with the toys on the play table, without interference from the bigger kids. Because the bigger kids (Russia) are known bullies who like to take the toys for themselves.
  • The bigger kids (Russia) sit and wait for the small kids (Ukraine) to get bored and move onto the scooters.
  • The playleaders at the toddler group (the US, the UK, Germany and the rest of the EU) watch and see what happens. No biscuits are offered to calm the big kids down.
  • The small kids (Ukraine) all play with the toys on the play table happily after the big kids move away. But the big kids (Russia) go and nick the garage (Crimea) so the small kids (Ukraine) can’t play properly.
  • This causes a lot of upset.
  • The big kids (Russia) say ‘you’ve got the table but we want the garage. It’s our garage’. The big kids stare at the small kids menacingly, while holding guns.
  • The play leaders all look on disapprovingly but do nothing.
  • The big kids say to the play leaders that the small kids want them to do this. Plus it’s their garage.
  • The big kids run away laughing and eye up the scooters.
  • The big kids sit on the garage, and one somehow manages to take the garage home at tidy up time, and, after finding out the garage has gone missing, the playleaders put all the friends of the big kids (Putin’s aides, Deputy Prime Minister etc) on the naughty step.
  • There is no storytime.

Next week, WWI explained in terms of a pub fight.

Thanks for reading.

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2 responses to “Crimea and the Ukraine. Explained from a parenting perspective.

  1. Hi There,

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    http://www.thedadnetwork.co.uk

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