Bad cover versions

Gok Wan

A bit off-tangent perhaps but bear with me caller.

I love looking at sites of celebrity lookylikeys. People who make money by appearing at events looking like a famous person. The fact that A LOT OF these people don’t look anything like the celebs they’re supposed to look like reduces me to a total mess of giggles, hysteria, and snorty laughs.  See this fella above? Who in the wide world of sport is he?


No idea?

I’ll give you a clue.

He’s a Gok Wan lookalike.

This bloke isn’t even Chinese!

Gotta admire the optimism of this agency. Lookylikeys or bad cover versions perhaps?

My dad once said I was a bad cover version of him. He wasn’t the most charming of men.

I get what he meant. We appeared the same. We looked very alike, but we weren’t the same. Lots of variations and I’m quite glad about that. Very glad that I’m not an exact copy of him as he wasn’t particularly nice. Or human.

To be honest, I think I’m like All Along The Watchtower by Hendrix as compared to my dad, who was Dylan’s version. I’m a better cover version than the original, but I digress and so I’m going to move into a different thought zone, as one does when one tries to make a shite set of thinkings a better one. And so I’m gonna talk about bad cover versions of songs instead.

These are, in my humble opinion, the three worst cover versions that I know of and have heard with my ears. I checked with HQ to see if I could include one of these, and I got a slight glare and a disapproving ‘Hmmmmmmm’, but I’m brave enough to cope with that. Balls of steel me.

So. Here are my three worst cover versions of all time with an explainification of sorts. What are yours? Which cover version of a song do you hate? Let me know in the comments section and I’ll put together a playlist on Spotify.

1: Smells Like Teen Spirit – Tori Amos

Tori Amos. I so would but this song is a dreary version of a belter. Step away from Nirvana Tori. Nothing to see here.

2: White Lines – Duran Duran

No. You know the original? Yeah? I think White Lines has been afforded some special status where cover versions of this song are against the law. Like Thora Hird. I’m no legal expert but I think this is fact. Thankfully Duran Duran did enough good stuff so they escape being banished to another planet for this horror. Or maybe they can just delete it like the Conservative Party did with stuff.

3: Kate Bush – Sexual Healing

What was she thinking? I mean seriously? WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?

Now it’s your turn. So let me know which cover versions make your shit itch and, as always, thanks for reading.


10 responses to “Bad cover versions

  1. That cover of The Smiths ‘Please Let Me Get What I Want’ on the John Lewis last year was saccharine and vomit-inducing. Any twee folksy cover of a classic song causes my rage-o-meter to start swinging wildly. Another example – Just Like Heaven by god knows who – I just did a quick Google and Katie Melua may have been responsible. Which figures. Not that folksy six-string botherers are the only culprits. One Direction covering Blondie’s One Way of Another – how was that allowed to happen?

    • Thanks for your comment. Yes, I’m with you. Although I LONG to hear a twee-folksy version of Ace of Spades.

      Having said that. I did quite like that version of ‘Please Let Me Get What I Want’ on the advert itself. Out of that, as a stand alone song, it doth make my ears run away.

      • You liked that? I’m starting to think it’s me. I’m watching the current John Lewis ad and thinking ‘yeah, and? Why is everyone getting all happy-weepy over it?’ I am however, northern. 🙂

        Ace of Spades folk-style. Can you play guitar? If so, I think YouTube is crying out for you.. 😀

  2. It’s not exactly a cover version but the fallout makes me want to put it forward. 1 Directions song “Best Song Ever” was basically The Who’s Baba O’Reilly in all but lyrics- musically it was very very similar. 1D’ers, the teenie girls out there got a bit cross with Pete Townshend, threatening to murder him and even rape him. That’s right, teenage girls threatened to rape a man who was arrested with child porn on his computer (he wasn’t charged).

  3. I always liked Tori Amos but the Nirvana cover was totally pointless. I hate most covers, actually. I’m a stickler for the original. Although I enjoyed Girls Aloud’s cover of Jump… *hides*

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