A bit off-tangent perhaps but bear with me caller.
I love looking at sites of celebrity lookylikeys. People who make money by appearing at events looking like a famous person. The fact that A LOT OF these people don’t look anything like the celebs they’re supposed to look like reduces me to a total mess of giggles, hysteria, and snorty laughs. See this fella above? Who in the wide world of sport is he?
I’ll give you a clue.
He’s a Gok Wan lookalike.
This bloke isn’t even Chinese!
Gotta admire the optimism of this agency. Lookylikeys or bad cover versions perhaps?
My dad once said I was a bad cover version of him. He wasn’t the most charming of men.
I get what he meant. We appeared the same. We looked very alike, but we weren’t the same. Lots of variations and I’m quite glad about that. Very glad that I’m not an exact copy of him as he wasn’t particularly nice. Or human.
To be honest, I think I’m like All Along The Watchtower by Hendrix as compared to my dad, who was Dylan’s version. I’m a better cover version than the original, but I digress and so I’m going to move into a different thought zone, as one does when one tries to make a shite set of thinkings a better one. And so I’m gonna talk about bad cover versions of songs instead.
These are, in my humble opinion, the three worst cover versions that I know of and have heard with my ears. I checked with HQ to see if I could include one of these, and I got a slight glare and a disapproving ‘Hmmmmmmm’, but I’m brave enough to cope with that. Balls of steel me.
So. Here are my three worst cover versions of all time with an explainification of sorts. What are yours? Which cover version of a song do you hate? Let me know in the comments section and I’ll put together a playlist on Spotify.
1: Smells Like Teen Spirit – Tori Amos
Tori Amos. I so would but this song is a dreary version of a belter. Step away from Nirvana Tori. Nothing to see here.
2: White Lines – Duran Duran
No. You know the original? Yeah? I think White Lines has been afforded some special status where cover versions of this song are against the law. Like Thora Hird. I’m no legal expert but I think this is fact. Thankfully Duran Duran did enough good stuff so they escape being banished to another planet for this horror. Or maybe they can just delete it like the Conservative Party did with stuff.
3: Kate Bush – Sexual Healing
What was she thinking? I mean seriously? WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?
Now it’s your turn. So let me know which cover versions make your shit itch and, as always, thanks for reading.