Things that my mum has got stressed about in the past 24 hours

Don't panic!

Don’t panic!

I’ve explained about my mum’s health in the past. She had a severe stroke over 3 years ago and a section of her brain was reduced to mush. That’s not my word but the word used by her consultant at the time.

She had anxiety issues before the stroke but now these problems are worse than ever. We’re due to attend an assessment which might help her, but I’m not sure. I don’t know if the stroke, and the confusion she has as a result of this injury, and the other complex issues she suffers from, mean that this will never be resolved. It could just be the way she’ll be for the rest of her life.

It’s hard on those around her but however hard it is for us, it must be hell for her. Everything, every single thing, scaring her to the point of panic every day.

It must be a living hell.

Here’s a list of a few things that have stressed my mum out to the point of a meltdown, a full screaming, shouting meltdown, in the last 24 hours.

  • The washing machine. Too noisy
  • The washing machine. ‘Should it be that quiet?’
  • Toilet rolls. 7.54pm ‘We’ve only got 5 to last until tomorrow.’
  • Her anxiety medication.
  • The hoover is in the wrong cupboard. Mum went to the cupboard and the hoover was missing. She got stressed by this. Completely unaware of the fact that I was about 15 feet away using it. To hoover.
  • The cat. It came into the room.
  • The cat. It left the room.
  • Teabags. Two boxes of 240 teabags might not last. I suggest they’ll last for at least a month. And then leave the room to bang my head against a door.
  • I said that mum’s stress levels were stressing me out a bit. Bad move. This made her stressed. I’m stupid and selfish. I told myself this but it’s good to have it confirmed by my mum.
  • Me leaving the room. Not quite sure what she thinks that I’m going to do. Possibly discover another Drawer of Doom piled full of paperwork that need sorting out.
  • The other Drawer of Doom we’ve just discovered.
  • And now we’ve got a Cupboard of Doom. FML.
  • There’s not enough milk in the fridge to last until tomorrow. There’s 8 pints (2 x 4 pints) and another 8 (2 x 4 pints) in the freezer. That’s 16 pints of milk. But still, that’s not enough to last until the shops open. I ask if mum was planning to bathe in it. Apparently that’s unkind.
  • The door is too noisy.
  • After oiling the door and cleaning it up, the door is now too quiet.
  • The washing machine. Again. It’s taking ages. It’s been on for 15 minutes.
  • The fish looks horrible and shouldn’t be eaten.
  • The potatoes are too round.
  • The other potatoes aren’t round enough. Potatoes are stupid.
  • There’s some French writing on the boiler. Does this mean that the boiler isn’t an English boiler? Is it going to work okay in England? What if it suddenly explodes.
  • The kettle is too empty and might boil dry.
  • The kettle is too full and might boil over.
  • Going to see her grandchildren. She can’t do it. She won’t do it.
  • The clock on the oven is incorrect. It’s 4.30 but it says 16.30. Why is it doing this? It’s never done this before?
  • The cat’s dead. I assure her the cat’s not dead but sleeping. She pokes it and the cat wakes up. Then scratches her.
  • The cat might die later if it’s sleeping like that. And when it scratched her it looked like it was having a stroke.
  • The washing machine is taking too long and it can’t be right, it’ll flood everywhere so best take a look in the washing powder drawer to see if it’s okay.
  • The water splashes out through the open washing powder drawer and onto the floor, so the washing machine must be broken and we need to get a new one.
  • The next door neighbour shouldn’t be playing piano at this time of day. At 4.45pm on a Saturday.
  • The window looks closed but actually it’s open.
  • The locked window is open. The window that’s closed, locked and very shut is open. It’s open Spencer, can you shut the window? It’s closed mum. Locked and shut. But Spencer I can SEE it’s open and it shouldn’t be open. Why is the window open? Spencer please just shut the window. The window is open. The window’s not going to shut. What am I going to do if the window won’t shut? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I…

Thanks for reading.


23 responses to “Things that my mum has got stressed about in the past 24 hours

    • Thank you. Currently having a good afternoon, but no two hours are the same let alone two days. I’ll try to keep her positive and look after myself so I can be there for her.

  1. Oh heck. I remember the phone call from my Dad, the “I don’t mean to worry you but I think your Mum has had a stroke”. The bottom fell out of my world. That must be so frustrating to live with both from her and your points of view. It reminds me of my toddler. He’s always been a bit timid but will scream sometimes out of lack of understanding and fear but not that often and I have the knowledge it’s likely to get better. I hope you can get some help and support.

    • It is a bit like dealing with a toddler sometimes, although I’m quite lucky as mine haven’t ever behaved like this. It’s hard to work out who the parent is sometimes but as long as I keep thinking and not take the reactions personally then I think we’ll be okay.
      Strokes are bastards. So cruel. So unforgiving.

      Thanks for your comment and for reading.

  2. I remember the years after my nana had her stroke, tough times, not made easier by her Alzheimer’s.
    We went through similar days; her waiting for Churchill to come for tea and having her throw money away as it was too dirty!
    Some days you have to laugh or you really will just cry, take time outs when you need to and try to be patient with both yourself and your mum xx

    • Thank you. Having a sense of humour is important, you’re right. As is taking time out when one can, and patience. Thankfully I’m quite a patient person but sadly mum isn’t, but I think that’s down to her condition(s).

  3. I wish I knew what to say. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to deal with this on top of your own problems but your love for your Mum shines through.

  4. So sad and frustrating, but as always you still manage to bring humour and have me laughing (hopefully with you). I voted for you in the BIBs. You deserve the recognition. Good luck.

  5. Oh crikey – how very frustrating – you sound like you cope with it very well but it must be very difficult and test your patience.

  6. Read this last night and thought ‘Oh biomin eck’ that sort of thing really wears you down I bet.
    Wish I could help more,just want you to know that a lot of people are routing for you and do care

  7. I wish there was something we can say or do to make this go away. I so admire your attitude to this and wish you and your mum all the very best xx

  8. Oh my word! What a nightmare. I really hope they can actually help her in some way as it sounds quite severe. And yes, you must take care of yourself too. Caring for ailing parents is very stressful.

    • Thank you. As I alluded to I’m not sure if they can help, as I think the stroke is one of the root causes of the anxiety but any help and support out there for her, an options available to us, will be explored. And of course, she’s always got me to lean on.
      I will take care of myself, I have to. And I can only be of use when I’m on form so rest, eating well and meeting friends for the odd giggle or two, when I can, are all important to my well-being too. As are comments like yours, so thank you.

  9. Spencer, it has taken me ages to comment on this as I don’t quite know what to say, but this post has just not left me since I read it. It has just made me think more and more. It must be such a hard way to live, to be so constantly worried. And so hard for you too. I know that is not particularly helpful. It is, as ever, beautifully written and you really do bring us there with you. Only we aren’t. BUt you know where we are if you need us.

    • Thank you for your comment, and your compliment. It is hard, and anyone who suffers from anxiety related issues in any way gets nothing but my total respect. I know how hard life can be so functioning in any way when somethings frighten the heck out of you is actually very brave.

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  11. Words. I need words. Utterly shite for both your mother and you, witnessing and living through it too. I still don’t know what to say, moments like this need profound and helpful words.Hoping things ease up soon x

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