A conversation I will never forget.

Just before 2pm on Saturday January 12th, 2013.

T, K and me are sitting on the sofa, under a blanket, watching Monsters Inc. I am looking after the children at their house while my ex-wife is away for work. She returns on Thursday.

T: Daddy? Will you be here until three o’clock?

Me: I will. I’ll be here until –

T: Will you be here until dinner time?

Me: I will. I’ll be here –

T: Will you be here in the morning?

Me: Yes.

T: Will you be here on Monday morning?

Me: Yes.

T: Will you be here at dinnertime on Monday?

Me: Yes?

T: Tuesday?

Me: Yep.

T: Wednesday?

Me: I will.

T: Daddy, will you be here forever?

Me: I live in my house now, but I stay with you when mummy’s away for work.

T: (Looking sad) Oh. I just want my mummy and daddy back.

Me: We’re always your mummy and daddy, and we will always love you so much and we’ll always be there for you and your sister.

I give T a cuddle.

T: I know, but I want my mummy and daddy. Not mummy OR daddy. The two of you. Forever. Here. It’s not fair.

I held his hand and kissed his head.

Me: I’m sorry son.

We carried on watching the film. Thankfully the film was distracting enough for both children for them to not notice the tears pouring from my eyes.

Thanks for reading.

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39 responses to “A conversation I will never forget.

  1. This breaks my heart, firstly for you and your family. But secondly for two of my grandchildren who feel the same because my daughter and her husband are in the throes of divorce.

    I admire the way you cope and I realise that some days …… You don’t.

    Hugs x

  2. This just made me cry. It’s very tough. Kids are tough too tho. Very well handled, thanks for sharing x

  3. As a 38 year old ‘grown-up’ I am sat with tears running down my face, remembering myself having that conversation with my own Mum at a young age. But, you know what, I turned out fine, I get it and understand that both my parents did the right thing. My husbands parents stayed together for him and it’s not right for anyone, really really not right. Hugs to you.

  4. This is so sad i get the same from my daughter if only they knew how much we would love to be there all the time…

  5. It’s been 2 years since we separated, he has a new wife and 2 month old baby now, but my children still say this to me. It’s horrible. It’s the one thing I can’t do for them. But it gets easier. Hang in there.

  6. This made me cry. Life is so crap sometimes. It is sad for your kids, and sad for you. At least you are present in their lives which is more than some children have. Stay strong. Big Hugs.

  7. This sort of conversation must be so diffcult, both for you and them. I don’t really know what to say other than you continue to be the best dad you can be, regardless of circumstances and the fact that you are still such a huge part of your children’s lives speaks volumes about your love and commitment to them

    • I’m sure it won’t be the last time we have that conversation but T’s only 3 and it’s hard to convey big concepts so we just keep it ensuring he knows he’s loved by both parents, his family and his friends.
      Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment.

  8. Heartbreaking; I feel for you. You’ve done all you can do: he knows you both love him, he won’t understand why you’re not all together until he;’s older.

  9. I have only just read your post, little late so hope you don’t mind me commenting. It was such a heartfelt post, I just wanted to say that I can’t imagine how hard hearing your son say those words must be. From what I have read, you are an awesome father, (not that you need a stranger to tell you that!). So I just wanted to say keep up the good work and your children will be more then fine x

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