My gran bought some non-stick pans.
My mum and my aunt were both children when she bought them, both at school, but my gran told me this story when I was growing up and when she did it always made me laugh. My gran and grandfather were both Irish, and while neither were educated and booksmart, both were very bright people. This is not an ‘Irish’ joke. This is what happened.
My gran bought some non-stick pans. Her first set. Teflon covered and all new. A labour-saving purchase. No more scrubbing stuff from the bottom of pans. This Teflon would save her time when washing up, after doing the cooking, after a long day at work.
My gran bought some non-stick pans and the next morning she went off to work. My grandfather had a day off for some reason. She couldn’t remember why when she told me the story.
When my gran came home my grandfather was sitting reading the newspaper.
“Good day Molly?”
“Yes Paddy. I’m just going to make some dinner now before Mary and Pat get home.”
“Oh, by the way, I cleaned those new pans you bought.”
My gran went into the kitchen and saw her new pans on the draining board, shining and gleaming. Not a trace of Teflon anywhere to be seen.
“I tell you Molly. That black stuff on those pans was a fucker to get off.”
She swore under her breath, apparently. As she put it when she told me this story, “I swore like a navvy Spencer! I’d spent a lot of money on those pans. But what could I say? He’d done what he thought was right. He wasn’t thick at all, he just got it wrong. But his heart was in the right place.”
She put the kettle on and went into the living room. “Paddy. You did a grand job. Cup of tea?”
“I’d love one.”
After my grandfather died, some 20 years later, my gran bought another set of non-stick pans. As she said, “if I’d bought another set while he was alive he would’ve tried to clean those too. Bless him.”
Thanks for reading.