I’m dangling at the moment.

T has a bit of a sore eye and, although not serious, could be the onset of an eye infection. His playgroup have a policy which means that he might be sent home if it gets worse. This is fair. Of course, send him home so he can feel better. It’s not to prevent the spread of infection as the damage there has been done, but it’s to minimise it I guess, and to help T get better quicker.

The process goes like this: if T isn’t well then the playgroup will call my ex, who will talk to them. If it’s felt that T should go home then my ex will call me and I will go and pick T up. I have no idea how this will pan out. The only time it’s been done before I picked T up and K also wanted to come home with us. And so both of them will leave playgroup for the day.

And so, T may or may not be ill, may or may not be sent home, and K may or may not want to come home too.

It’s all a bit up in the air.

Tomorrow, if T isn’t well in the morning then my ex will call me to let me know if I should go over or not. So I guess I’ll get up at 6 and get dressed and showered just in case. When my ex calls me at 7 then I’ll head on over there. She will take K into playgroup and T will stay with me.

I think. I’m not sure.

It’s all a bit up in the air.

My ex can’t stay at home tomorrow to look after the children as she would normally do as she has an event to attend. Any other day she would make the decision to stay at home and maybe, if she can, do a bit of work from home. And so, today, in preparation for a phone call, or phone calls I may or may not get, I cancelled my plans for the afternoon just in case I needed to pick T up. I’ve also cancelled all my plans for tomorrow. Just in case.

But then, of course, he might feel better tomorrow. He might be fine and I’ll be dressed and showered and sitting around only to be told that everything’s okay and I should pick them up in the evening as arranged.

So I’m dangling but this is parenting and this is how our lives are now so I should quit moaning. This is normal. This is what all parents do isn’t it? We’re all constantly dangling.

Then why do I feel so pissed off about so many undecided things and all this dangling? Spencer. STOP MOANING! Children get ill and you deal with it. If T is off tomorrow then cuddles with daddy will be the best thing. And why not K too? A trip to the GP and a day with the two of them, at home, in the warm, playing trains and having a sneaky biscuit or two. Or three. Warm milk and cookies in front of a warm fire, with a DVD on. Finding Nemo perhaps.

But I won’t know until tomorrow. I won’t know until other people have made the decisions. Decisions made at the last-minute.

I think the best solution all round would be for T&K to both stay home tomorrow, and I’ll look after them all day. If T is a bit unwell then he can recover and if not, if he’s fine, then we’ll have a great time anyhow.

But I don’t make these decisions any more. I hope my son will feel better for tomorrow. I hope he can go to playgroup tomorrow and have fun as normal. Me? No. It’s fine. I’ll be fine. If T&K are fine then I’m fine. I’m fine.

But I’m dangling. And moaning. But this is the place for me to have a moan and a rant. You don’t have to read it, and there are some people who really shouldn’t be reading. But that I’ll talk about in another blog post.

So yep, moaning. But mainly just dangling.

Thanks for reading.

5 responses to “Dangling

  1. You’ve supplied your own answer as to why you are fed up; because others make the decisions and you’re the last to know. I hope you get them both for the day, sickness or no sickness. They’d love it and so would you.

    • True. And thanks for taking the time to comment and read.
      I think the dangling thing is more of a bigger thing than I realise. Lots of things are dangling, and that isn’t a euphemism. Lots needs to be resolved, there’s a future dangling thing involving the children which I have no idea how to deal with, and as such I’m kinda on hold. This isn’t right. It’s weird and actually very frustrating. But, it’ll work out. It’s got to.

  2. Of course this is annoying. I deal with it all the time as a single mom. I think the annoying aspect, is, of course that you are being told what needs to be done, not having a say in it. And you should not be treated like a babysitter on call.

    • I don’t feel like that at all, I’m their father and never a babysitter and so I know what should be done, and that I can do that.
      Of course, tomorrow morning at 7am when I’m up and all is okay, I may feel differently.
      Thanks for reading and thanks for your comment.

  3. Pingback: My Top Five Rant Inducers - MummyGlitzer·

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