It was my birthday this week. On Wednesday August 22nd 2012, I turned 40.
Thank you to all who sent birthday wishes. And to those who sent me birthday cards and actual gifts I can only give my most humble thanks. This isn’t gushing or overpraise. It made a difference. You all made me smile, and you all helped turned a person who was feeling very blue, into someone who could greet his children with a smile on his face, rather than hoping they would turn my day around.
In order to celebrate this movement into my fifth decade, I was interviewed by the legendary football commentator John Motson, who wanted to discuss last season and my thoughts on how I would perform this year.
John Motson: Spensher, lasht year wash a shocking year for you.
Me: Yes John. 39 was a terrible season.
JM: What went wrong?
Me: Dunno Motty. It began well. A hot summer’s day, watching my son play in fountains, my daughter feeding me cake, and a picnic with my children and my wife. I didn’t have a clue that in 365 days time I’d be on my own for the day, divorced, and living in a tiny rented flat. Some of the past year has been truly horrific. I’ve had terrible depression and there were times that I really thought I wouldn’t be able to get through the day. But people I’ve never met, friends from the other side of a computer screen, have stretched out an arm, sent me positive messages, have cared, genuinely fucking cared, when I thought I had nothing left. They’ve picked me up when I’ve felt low. They’ve helped me through the terrible, crushing lows when I could barely breath and felt so fucking terrible. But it’s not all been bad. A season of ups and downs. There was a brief peak in the last quarter of the season but, coming up to the last match we suffered some terrible injuries.
JM: What were the high points of last season?
Me: In no particular order, erm… starting a blog. Getting so much great feedback from people and support which kept me going through tough times and having enough confidence in being able to put my thoughts out there that I even wrote some nonsense fiction and may continue to do so. Being asked to be on a panel at Britmums Live! Making and meeting new friends. That one over there. *Points to that one over there* My children developing, learning, and showing that, whatever the changes, they’re doing well.
JM: And the low points of last season?
Me: Pretty much the rest of the year is a tie.
JM: What are your thoughts on the season ahead? Are you planning any major changes?
Me: Well John, I’ve learned a lot from last year. I’ve consolidated and I know that I’m not gonna get relegated this season. I was going to say I’m not gonna go down but I sincerely hope that’s not the case. Fnarr. I’ve worked a lot on my defence and I’m gonna show a new, more positive approach to the game. But, I know, a lot of effort has to be put in both on and off the pitch.
This year I’m gonna give it 110% and work my socks off. Let’s face it, there are no easy games at this level but I’m gonna take it slow to begin with, one game at a time, and hope to get into a good run of form. I’m too good to be that low again.
And I came away from last season thinking ‘it’s the small things in life that matter most’ and I have two small things that have made me realise that, while I may have given up mentally at some points, I didn’t actually give up, and this season is going to be very different. I’m looking forward to it.
JM: There’s been some talk about you making some moves in the transfer market. Are you going to be bringing in any new faces?
Me: Don’t be disgusting John.
Thanks for reading and thanks again for all your kind words this week, and over the past season.
Much love and I kiss you all on both cheeks.
The Special One.