Language. Good innit?
By language I mean words. Obviously there are lots of other forms of communication. As the BBC would say, “other methods of communication ARE available.”
Semaphore. That’s a good one. A bit showy and sometimes inconvenient if you don’t have a shit load of flags with you, but on the whole good. One of my top five.
But I’m not gonna analyse language or linguistics. I’m not David Crystal and I’ve not had anywhere near enough to drink. So I’ll leave that for the experts and just spaff out what’s in my headbox just now. About some words. And words.
Words like ‘I love you’, ‘thank you’, ‘never enough cheese’, ‘hope’ and ‘daddy’ make me smile.
But not today.
Today I can’t smile. I just don’t have it in me today.
Two words make me smile more than most. Usually. The words “free bar.”
Two words scare me more than anything. The words “hen party.”
But some words confuse me. Some phrases confuse me. The phrase ‘we got on like a house on fire’ – what the dick does that mean?
A house? On fire? “Ahhhhh save me, save me, my house is on fire! Help! My house is on fire! Ahhh someone rescue my cupboard full of porn, my house is on fire!”
A house on fire is not a good thing. So why do people get on like one?
Another one that confuses me. For the best. It’s for the best. We should do this as it’s for the best.
Really? Is it? Why does this phrase crop up when, actually, what you’re doing DOESN’T feel for the best and actually feels hell? Like someone is ripping your heart out through your damp eyes. It’s not for the best now. It’s fucking awful. Actually. So there.
In time though eh? In time it’ll be for the best. Pain + Time = The best. Or something. It’s an equation. I’ve just made it up.
And words, can hurt. Few things have the power to hurt more than words. Few things have such power actually. To make you smile, laugh, dance a jig of joy or make you want crawl into a ball and hide from the world. A smack round the face hurts, but that pain can fade. Someone saying something nasty about you doesn’t. You can replay and repeat these words in your head. They can undermine you. For the rest of your life.
Words can hurt people. Cause pain and upset. Cause worry and fear. There’s stuff like this going on at the moment on my Twitter timeline. People are upset by words said by someone they’ll never meet, judgements made on a series of 140 character missives. It’s sad to see as I hate seeing people upset when sometimes it’s best to say sorry, very little, or nothing at all.
My gran told me that once you say something it’s said. You can’t undo it. If you say something wrong, bad, mean or upsetting to others then you can only apologise and hope that’s enough.
I always hope I say the right thing at the right time. I know I don’t sometimes, but I do know when I’ve done wrong and I know when to say sorry.
I also know that we’re all simply a few words away from being a dick, destroying our lives, hurting others and…
What the fuck am I trying to say?
Dunno. I don’t have the words today.
My mum used to talk the hind legs off a donkey. Natter, natter, chitter chatter. About anything and everything. A few years back she had serious stroke and now she’s quieter. Quiet. Words don’t come out any more. When words do come out, sometimes they’re the wrong ones. She knows what’s going on and this upsets her. It upsets her that she can’t express herself clearly any more. The pain on her face is there for all to see. She cries.
The power of words. Having them, or losing them. Understanding them or not.
Perhaps we should just stick to semaphore.
What are your favourite words, phrases, or which scare you or confuse you most? Pop a comment in the comments section and let’s have some fun.
And thanks for reading.