I read a post this week by the gorgeous @sonyacisco who invented something to make her life a little easier, and, as parents I know we could all sometimes do with a few more hours in the day to get shit done.
I also had a wee Twitter chat with@ageingmatron @crystaljigsaw @mummylawyer and then a proper on the phone chat with @motherventing about gadgets that are designed to make our lives easier but invariably come with a beep that just annoys the heck out of you. I also blogged about this subject some time ago.
@crystaljigsaw pointed out she’d recently read about a fridge which talks to you. Not in a how are you, what are you up to, what are your plans for the weekend sort of way, but in a ‘OI! FATTY. PUT THE CREAM CAKE DOWN’ sort of way. Talking fridge, hectoring fridge much the same thing.
All of these things, this post and the conversation got me thinking and I’ve come up with a marvellous invention. Moving on from the fridge that’s a bully to the fridge that’s your friend – The Fridgematic 5000.
Here’s the idea. The Fridgematic 5000 reads barcodes and use by/best before dates on your shopping, and stores them in it’s little memory thing and reminds you when things are about to go off. It also knows the contents of your fridge and, by pushing a lovely purple button on the front, could talk you through a recipe based on what you have inside.
“Hello citizen. I am determining the contents of your fridge and preparing recipes. Please press the number buttons below to indicate the length of time you wish to take preparing your evening meal.’
“Based on the contents of your fridge, I can suggest pasta carbonara. Cut the bacon into small pieces, fry in a little oil. Boil 100g of spaghetti per person. Beat two eggs and the yolk of another. Drain pasta, mix in the bacon and pour the beaten egg over the top, and stir. Serve with parmasan cheese and a sprig of basil. Thank you for using the Fridgematic 5000. Oh, and may I suggest serving the strawberries with a drizzle of balsamic vinegar as they were bought yesterday and really ought to be used by today.”
I think genius just about covers my idea. Link it to an app on your phone and it can also prepare a shopping list for you based on your regular purchases and what you are about to run out of when you’re in the supermarket.
It comes in white, silver and a funky yellow for people who like that. Or Europeans. It has a dock for your MP3 player, a small TV built into the front, and you can also use it to update your Facebook status. “Just made pasta using my Fridgematic 5000, nom nom nom, LOL smiley face.”
You want one NOW don’t you?
This is the sort of shit which, if Stephen Hawking came up with it, would bring him a Nobel Prize for Farking Awesomeness. And then they’d have to, like totally stop giving out Nobel Prizes because, actually, no idea will ever top this one.
Think about it. No more shopping lists. Your fridge will do that. No more wasted food. No more unnecessary purchases of stuff which you think you’ve run out of but actually have loads of right at the back, behind the cup of beans.
Of course, this is not a totally fleshed out idea, but the seed is there. This sort of thinking got James Dyson a knighthood, although if he got hold of this he’d probably try to make it smaller, add a ball and make it pointlessly heavy. So, Mr D, this is mine and I say trademark copyright I made it up innit, so no teefing my ideas.
What about if it goes wrong, says you? What about if, in time, the Fridgematic 5000, and your beeping washing machine, the beeping kettle and the talking iron (“No citizen. When doing shirts it’s always the collar first and THEN the sleeves”) all conspire and the machines take over the world. They beep and bleep in unison at 4 in the morning and don’t stop, slowly driving us all insane and forcing us to destroy each other in a frantic bid to survive, humanity generally consuming itself until only a few souls remain, slaves to their evil technological overlords. What then? What will we do when technology takes over the world?
Well, we can pull the plug out.
Do you have an awesome invention? Do you have a plan which will save time, energy, hassle and money? If so then please let me know by leaving a lovely comment, or by blogging your idea yourself. I look forward to reading about them.
Thanks for reading and thanks to the above mentioned people for inspiring me so. The first 4 Fridgematic 5000’s are for them.