An awesome invention

I read a post this week by the gorgeous @sonyacisco who invented something to make her life a little easier, and, as parents I know we could all sometimes do with a few more hours in the day to get shit done.

I also had a wee Twitter chat with@ageingmatron @crystaljigsaw @mummylawyer and then a proper on the phone chat with @motherventing about gadgets that are designed to make our lives easier but invariably come with a beep that just annoys the heck out of you. I also blogged about this subject some time ago.

@crystaljigsaw pointed out she’d recently read about a fridge which talks to you. Not in a how are you, what are you up to, what are your plans for the weekend sort of way, but in a ‘OI! FATTY. PUT THE CREAM CAKE DOWN’ sort of way. Talking fridge, hectoring fridge much the same thing.

All of these things, this post and the conversation got me thinking and I’ve come up with a marvellous invention. Moving on from the fridge that’s a bully to the fridge that’s your friend – The Fridgematic 5000.

Here’s the idea.Β The Fridgematic 5000 reads barcodes andΒ  use by/best before dates on your shopping, and stores them in it’s little memory thing and reminds you when things are about to go off. It also knows the contents of your fridge and, by pushing a lovely purple button on the front, could talk you through a recipe based on what you have inside.

*Press button*

“Hello citizen. I am determining the contents of your fridge and preparing recipes. Please press the number buttons below to indicate the length of time you wish to take preparing your evening meal.’

*Presses 10*

“Based on the contents of your fridge, I can suggest pasta carbonara. Cut the bacon into small pieces, fry in a little oil. Boil 100g of spaghetti per person. Beat two eggs and the yolk of another. Drain pasta, mix in the bacon and pour the beaten egg over the top, and stir. Serve with parmasan cheese and a sprig of basil. Thank you for using the Fridgematic 5000. Oh, and may I suggest serving the strawberries with a drizzle of balsamic vinegar as they were bought yesterday and really ought to be used by today.”

I think genius just about covers my idea. Link it to an app on your phone and it can also prepare a shopping list for you based on your regular purchases and what you are about to run out of when you’re in the supermarket.

It comes in white, silver and a funky yellow for people who like that. Or Europeans. It has a dock for your MP3 player, a small TV built into the front, and you can also use it to update your Facebook status. “Just made pasta using my Fridgematic 5000, nom nom nom, LOL smiley face.”

You want one NOW don’t you?

This is the sort of shit which, if Stephen Hawking came up with it, would bring him a Nobel Prize for Farking Awesomeness. And then they’d have to, like totally stop giving out Nobel Prizes because, actually, no idea will ever top this one.

Think about it. No more shopping lists. Your fridge will do that. No more wasted food. No more unnecessary purchases of stuff which you think you’ve run out of but actually have loads of right at the back, behind the cup of beans.

Of course, this is not a totally fleshed out idea, but the seed is there. This sort of thinking got James Dyson a knighthood, although if he got hold of this he’d probably try to make it smaller, add a ball and make it pointlessly heavy. So, Mr D, this is mine and I say trademark copyright I made it up innit, so no teefing my ideas.

What about if it goes wrong, says you? What about if, in time, the Fridgematic 5000, and your beeping washing machine, the beeping kettle and the talking iron (“No citizen. When doing shirts it’s always the collar first and THEN the sleeves”) all conspire and the machines take over the world. They beep and bleep in unison at 4 in the morning and don’t stop, slowly driving us all insane and forcing us to destroy each other in a frantic bid to survive, humanity generally consuming itself until only a few souls remain, slaves to their evil technological overlords. What then? What will we do when technology takes over the world?

Well, we can pull the plug out.

Do you have an awesome invention? Do you have a plan which will save time, energy, hassle and money? If so then please let me know by leaving a lovely comment, or by blogging your idea yourself. I look forward to reading about them.

Thanks for reading and thanks to the above mentioned people for inspiring me so. The first 4 Fridgematic 5000’s are for them.


19 responses to “An awesome invention

  1. Love this idea. Inspiring invention indeed and I personally think you deserve a knighthood at the very least. And the post it notes on the door just totally sets the tone. Could we have a button that comes with language and one that doesn’t? I love an honest fridge.

    And thanks heaps for the very kind mention, was lovely chatting to you on Twitter. Here’s to the next invention and your first million, that I’m sure you’ll share… πŸ˜‰

    CJ x

  2. WANT ONE!
    Fantastic fridge idea. Would love to see what it would make with 3 bottles of wine and a jar of slightly iffy mayonnaise though…

  3. I want one of those fridges! By the way as you’ve put a recipe on your blog you are now a food blogger!
    My invention would make breastfeeding at night easier – glow in the dark nipple cream

  4. Sorry, don’t want one. I use food as far past its sell by date as I dare and exist, when my personal chef is not around, off all-day breakfasts so do not wish to be hectored on blue mould or painstaking recipes by my white goods! I hope it makes you rich, though. Then you can buy me that beer!

  5. i’m in on the fridge idea. I’ll be amazed if it can find a recipe using the two dried up spring onions, half bottle of oyster sauce and too-hot peppers which have been in there for donkeys. On other inventions, After we struggled with a pushchair up stairs today, my 4 y.o. said when he grows up he’ll invent a pushchair with feet.

    • If you’ve got noodles in the cupboard you can do a stir fry?
      Love the idea of a pushchair with feet. Your 4 year old is CLEARLY more genius than I.
      Thanks for commenting and for reading. πŸ™‚

  6. If it could speak in a german voice it would be ace. We could have a sort of spatks/ktaftwerk thing going on with all the beeping and bringing from washing machines microwave ovens, cookers, etc

  7. I would love one of these but please bring it out in pink!! πŸ˜€
    I would love a Remote Control with a child lock on and a TV, DVD, Sky box that has hidden buttons so the baby can’t play around with it! (Currently I am using sello tape!)

    • Very good idea. A little flap thing that comes over the remote and little slidey lockey things that cover the Sky box. I think it’s a fab idea you should pitch to the makers. If not, let me know and we’ll do it together.

  8. Can we have a Binmatic 5000 as well as the fridge version, may be they could take to each other? My idea is that as you throw items away, the item is scanned and added to your shopping list immediately. I need the bin to remind me that I’m out of tin foil or tomato sauce.

  9. ((Under door the jamb airbag for land and air transportation)
    by Cyprian Onyango Designi on Sunday, May 6, 2012 at 6:55pm Β·

    Its a flat wide case with a flat wide airbag/cushion in it, placed at the interior of a vihacles headliner or above a plane’s or bus door to prevent headbumps when getting in or out of the car etc, i invented/designed a pressurized and electric motorised version, its not only a concept of safety but it would/will also be a show off. The system can be placed in any transportation from, land, marine and air transport…etc, am its world wide inventor, you first saw it here.

    (Under the jamb slim airbag)TM. Was not only invented for safety reasons, but also for show off, it has an important/reasonable purpose plus show off….. imagine opening a vihacles door and just before you get in this flat cushion or airbag comes out and holds under the door jamb, making sure you dont bump your head over the door and under the jamb.

    -Sometimes you rush or in a hurry to get in the vihacle.

    -And what about the pregnant women getting in a vihacle

    -Or you have a disabled person trying to get in the vihacle.

    -Or a taller person.

    -Or the older person.

    -Or getting in the car during at night.

    -Its also safe for the kids.

    -What about probably someone with an injury on the head.

    -And probably you have a headache, bumping your head on a vihacle is the last thing you want to happen.. etc…..

    For some people simple headbumps sometimes can lead to serious medical attention.

    I think people have better things to worry about than reminding themselves everytime that (when they are about to get off this vihacle they have to be carefull not to hit their head on that mean alluminium.

    I think people who will experience this feature will say (That vihacle has a grand entry, when you enter that vihacle that feature makes you feel special or royal)

    You probably have a house door matt written WELCOME but this will be the WELCOME version when you enter an Automobile or an Aeroplane.

    View it here:

    An invention of: Cyprian Design

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