Money makes the world go round…

We all need it. Sadly we can’t barter our talents and skills in order to buy shizzle. I’m great with a hula hoop but it ain’t gonna buy me some cheese. I know. I’ve tried. And I almost put my back out.

We need money to pay for essentials. Food, clothes, accommodation. Essentials to sustain your health, self-esteem and to put a roof over your head. Essentials for you and for those around you. These essentials are essential. Hashtag facthard.

Some have more than others. Money that is. Some have less than others. The tricky balance of capitalism is, that while others flourish, others have to wither on the vine. The entire rotting hulk of the first world capitalist concept is perched, underpinned, founded on need and the wealth of others, the wealth of the less than 1%. Lets all remember that capitalist economics has been compared to a  simple see-saw, something best explained by children in playground. When one goes up something else has to go down. I’m not John Maynard Keynes so obviously don’t take my word for this. But sadly when the seesaw swings in the other direction, those without any money seem to end up with less. So maybe it’s not all swings and roundabouts.

If you have some I don’t envy you. I wish you well, truly. You’ve worked hard and got the right breaks but I don’t look up to you. If you don’t have much I don’t hate you or look down to you either. I bet you’ve still worked hard you just haven’t had the right breaks. Respect is respect.

While I’m on the subject of respect, and money, Bob Diamond, head Bob Diamond at Barclays resigned on Monday after being in charge of an organisation which fucked with rules and tried to seek advantage over others. It’s estimated he made a lot of money being in a job which he had to resign from because he wasn’t in control of what was going on.

Barclays Bank were fined £290 million for this going on. On his watch.

Lets look at this. Not in numbers as sometimes numbers don’t give you a feel for how much money we’re talking about.

For example, DFS ads try to sell you a sofa for four nine nine.

Four nine nine what? Eggs? Beans? Magic fucking Beans?



Four hundred and ninety nine pounds. That’s the cost, we all know it, so fucking say it! Don’t be ashamed of saying four hundred and ninety nine pounds as, actually, that’s the cost. Don’t give it some shorthand to make it sound less expensive than the four hundred and ninety nine pounds it actually is.

The bank was fined two hundred and ninety million pounds.

That’s a lot of sofas.

That’s a lot of money.

So you’re, sitting at home, wondering how you might pay next month’s rent, or this month’s rent, scrabbling money together because, you just don’t have it and you think “I’ll put the telly on, just give me 10 minutes to not think about all this”.  You put on the TV, to just let it wash over you, and you’re confronted with the news that a man who has made an estimated one hundred million pounds from being in a job, has caused his employers to be fined two hundred and ninety MILLION pounds by doing it badly.

If I’d done similar in any of my jobs I would’ve lost the ability to find a job again. I would’ve lost the respect of my peers and probably lost a lot more than that. I would’ve lost my working life.

Not sure Bobby Dee gives a shit though.

And no-one’s going down for this. Government thinks an enquiry is a waste of time. It probably is to be fair. But what will make this stop? What will make good? What will make you stop reaching for a shoe to throw at the telly?

Public executions aren’t allowed any more are they?

If you’re in that situation, with little or no money in your Barclays Bank account, watching the telly and hearing this news, one hundred pounds, two hundred and ninety pounds, ten pounds or TWENTY NINE POUNDS  will help you. It’ll buy food, nappies, a small toy to keep your toddler amused and out of your hair for twenty minutes. As for the millions of pounds? Well, they’re for others aren’t they? Not for you. Never for you.

I was good at maths when very young. Very very good when very very young. My mum didn’t have much money when I was growing up and so, on supermarket shopping trips, she’d ask me to price up everything we were buying and keep the total in my head as we were going round. I must’ve looked a precocious little bastard when we got to the checkout and I was spot on every time, but it’s the way we managed. My mum knew that she had, lets say, a tenner to spend on food for a week or so, and she had to know how far this would go and what it would buy us. If it went over we’d take something back before getting to the checkout and replace it for something cheaper. That’s how we worked.

I was farking amazing at maths at school, but I hated it. Perhaps understandably.

Money makes the world go round, but when you don’t have any it can bring you to think thoughts you don’t want to have, bring feelings you despise in yourself, make you feel hopeless and worth nothing.

There is no answer to this, sadly. It’s a situation I know and I know others are going through right now. Poverty is defined in many ways but simplest put it’s when you can’t afford the things you need to be able to live.

This isn’t about benefits, government payouts or debt, spending or frugality or thriftiness over largesse. It’s about life. In many ways money equals a life.

When you have no money you can feel that you have no life. No freedom. In worst cases no hope and in lots of cases this can lead to depression and utter misery and despair.

Money makes the world go stop. Poverty isn’t about famine and the third world. It could be something a friend or a relative is going through. And I don’t mean not being able to buy a pair or jeans or a dress they want. I mean not being able to live. Its about crying yourself to sleep worrying about how you’re going to pay the fucking electricity bill. Or how the fuck all this will just stop.

But, on the bright side, Bob Diamond got a twenty million pound pay off when he resigned, so I guess it won’t happen again eh?

The most curious element in all this Barclays thing is how could a bank employ a man who’s name would sound shite if he was a used car salesman.

I knew he was a wrong ‘un.

I’m about to change my name to Spencer Platinum in the vague hope that I might nick his old job.

What are you thoughts on this subject? Is it just a case of the thems and the us-es? Please let me know what you think and, as always, thanks for reading.

20 responses to “Money makes the world go round…

  1. That’s an absolutely superb post. Far better than my one what I wrote about banks.

    On public executions: yes, they are illegal as far as I know. But, loosely related, I had a dream not so long ago about being a sniper and picking off half a dozen Bob Diamond-esque sorts as they left their offices. It didn’t fix anything. Probably because it was a dream.

    I had a conversation with some good friends of mine last night, every single one of us hates the current system, but not one of us could offer an even half way sensible alternative. Ho hum.


  2. Personally I think that toss pot should Hav o pay back all the bonuses he has ever had… Who the he’ll needs 20 million pounds as a bonus when there are people out there FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES, people that have DIED doing the same & only getting a piss poor wage… You could extend this to Footballers too, why do they need so much money to kick. Ball about??? I lost my cousin a few years ago & his wife gets so little from our Government, my best friends husband has been told he is going to do a Tour of Duty next year (his 4th so far), he earns pittance…. It’s not right. This is a BRILLIANT post love…..

    • Thanks. Sometimes the inequity of life consumes me a bit. And ranting like a bastard helps. 🙂
      You’re right. This is not right.
      Thanks for commenting and for taking the time to read.

  3. What a fantastic post ,if any of my employees got me a fined all they would get is my foot up there arse as I booted them down the street .
    Bob f ing diamond obviously has no pride about himself just pure greed . If I was a barclays customer I would shut my account but then if we all did that it would be the poor counter staff that would suffer and not the greedy gets at the top
    I could go on but I won’t rant over

  4. Great post, as ever. But this isn’t about the post it’s about your Tots100 badge. What’s happened to it, it’s half there and half not???

    Hope you’re well despite money crap! x

  5. Great rant. I can’t face another effing enquiry – we’re still going through Leveson enquiry (and paying for it) and it’ll achieve jack diddly squat shit…. enquiries just seem to be endless legal/parliamentary/celebrity wank territory. Now a good court case with a few of the bankers hitting wormwood scrubs for life might give me a bit of pleasure – if their ill gotten gains were confiscated and distributed to the people effected by their rate fixing so much the better. There are alternatives, but have we all got the guts to give up on the banks?
    We’re moving our bank account from Barclays to the co-op.

  6. Another great post my friend. Wise words. I’d love an enquiry to expose everyone involved including the governments past and present who knowingly colluded in building the tax-lucrative financial behemoth we all live by one way or another. Truth is I still don’t believe it would change a thing and it would just cost us humble tax payers another bob or two!

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