Sleep has not been my best buddy of late. Lots on my mind and all that shizzle. Reminds me of an old joke.
‘My dad used to sit up all night, unable to sleep, worrying about the coming harvest. Which was odd as he worked as a chartered accountant.’
So yes, in a sense, I’d been up late of late worrying about the coming harvest. So yesterday afternoon I had a nap. Stuff had been building up and I felt unsettled. 30 minutes was all I wanted.
That day I woke early, 5ish, ran, had breakfast, a shower and did what I needed to do, applied for a couple of jobs, tinkered with my CV a bit, sent some personal emails to family and friends. Wrote something. I wrote something other than this.It was a bit weird because I couldn’t be me, kind of, ish, but I did it and it’s all good experience.
But by 3ish things were getting on top of me, so I napped.
During this nap I fell into a light sleep. Images flicked through my head, like a coffee table book made up solely of pictures. Snapshots of the past month. I know I was dreaming but it was just fragments of things.
When I worked in IT I went on a course and the course leader talked about monitors and fixing them. Basically he said, “Don’t.”
These old CRT monitors, the heavy fuckers, like the old non-flat screen TV’s, built up a charge of electricity so big that if you went anywhere near that cathode ray tube without dispersing the charge it could kill you. It could discharge that electricity into you and throw you, not only across the room, but across the room, down the road, way past the traffic lights and into the next town. This is what I was told. So I’ve never fucked around with one of those bad boys.
But this made me think of dreams. The brain could be the cathode ray tube and in order for it to rest and function without EXPLODING IN YOUR FACE the build up needs to be discharged. Into dreams. I’m no scientist, it’s just an idea.
And then, of course, I was awake. I’d been thinking about fucking cathode ray tubes.
I enjoy having dreams, but I’ve been told that you don’t really have a great night’s sleep when you dream. Apparently you don’t go into the right sort of deep sleep. Not properly. And certainly not when you have a saucy one about Kate Garraway like I did some time ago.
For those who don’t know who Kate Garraway is, this is she. And, fact fans, the dream started on a sofa and ended in the kitchen.
I tried to drop off again, putting a blanket over my head. All went well. No images, or movies playing out in my headbox. Obviously the build up had discharged.
I felt myself relaxing, drifting off…
AND THEN I DID THAT SLEEP TWITCHY TWITCHY SLEEP THING THAT WOKE ME RIGHT UP!
I’ve been told that this sleep twitch is an evolutionary throwback from when, as apes, we’d sleep in trees. The twitch was designed to alert our chimpy selves that we’re about to fall from the tree and we’d better wake up PDQ. Or die.
Which reminds me of a hilarious joke. Insomniac rings the sleep clinic;
“Doctor Doctor, I’m having trouble sleeping. When I get off to sleep I get this twitch which wakes me up again!”
“Don’t be so fucking rude I was just looking for advice!”
Actually I made that one up.
There was no possibility of a sleep that day, so I did what any sensible person does at such a time. I decided I’d blog about it and ate a shit load of biscuits.
Sleep. I guess I can live off 5 or 6 hours a day. I existed off much much less when the children were newborns. Thatcher ran a country having had less sleep. But then, you know, she was a bit *Does that curly whirly finger on side of forehead thing.*
I think I know what might sort me out, sleepwise. Cause me to place my head on the pillow and rest fully and deeply and wake like a spring bunny, fresh and up for a new day.
A great deal of excellent, sweaty, passionate, gasping, panting, filled with outcries of sexual pleasure, sexy sexy SEXY sexytime.
But that’s for another blog post.
How’s your relationship with sleep? Are you dreaming more or less as you get older? Do you remember dreams? Should I be worried about this Kate Garraway thing? Please feel free to share any sleep related experiences.
Oh, and thanks for reading.