Today, I’m very annoyed. Very, very VERY fucking annoyed.
So annoyed I went for a long walk, found a field away from houses and people, stood in the middle of it, and shouted swearwords at such a volume I almost made myself vomit.
Did it help? No. Now I’m annoyed because I now have a sore throat.
Earlier I was trying to work out if this is simply frustration or actually a bit of low mood and a sign of dark clouds approaching. Did I just get out of the wrong side of the bed or, actually, are there things in my life which I’m allowed to get annoyed by? I realised it wasn’t low mood. If I was feeling depressed then I wouldn’t be feeling angry or annoyed. I wouldn’t be feeling anything.
I’m annoyed because, in order to get some money I’m entitled to, I have to call some ridiculous 0845 number, which costs ME money, and spend 20 minutes on the phone waiting to tell someone that, actually, THEY fucked up. I have to do this on my mobile so it costs about a tenner each time I’m kept on hold. This is money I could do with, and don’t want to spend it sorting out someone else’s fuck up.
I’m annoyed by my inability to connect to a BT Wireless Hotspot so I can do stuff. So much I need to do is online, from banking to TV to porn. I’m annoyed that I paid for it and it’s not working. I’m annoyed because I paid for it because BT delayed the installation of broadband and phone by a week. If they hadn’t done that, then I would be doing this and I wouldn’t be so annoyed. This wouldn’t be annoying me. But it is. It’s annoying me.
I was joking about the porn by the way.
I’m annoyed by a post I read, and a debate which seems to confuse itself about dad bloggers, separate awards categories for dad bloggers, whether Britmums should now be called something else to incorporate dads and mums, or whether dads should be excluded from the whole shebang. I blog, you blog, we blog about parenting and life shizzle. I enjoyed Britmums Live and felt included, welcomed, valued and I despise division on gender grounds in any form. There’s been enough of it for years so let’s not perpetuate it. It annoys me. It is annoying me.
I’m annoyed by a thing on the radio I heard about grunting tennis players. “They should stop grunting” said one person. Oh fuck off. I don’t see a tennis player coming round to your house and telling you to stop sniffing or scratching your arse. Leave it. It’s annoying.
I’m so annoyed I have an itch under my skin.
I’m annoyed that I can’t see my children more than I do. I’m usually okay by this, sad obviously, but now I’m just annoyed. Nothing I can do about it as they’re off to Spain on Saturday, but I’m annoyed. Something’s gotta change.
I’m annoyed at the pointless stupid weather. It’s cloudy, a bit rainy, but warm and fucking humid. It feels hot and muggy. Clammy and daft. I’m annoyed by the weather. Oh heck. He’s going off on one.
I’m annoyed that my flat is so small and my life isn’t going the way I want it to. I’m trying and have tried to make changes, but this is proving tough and almost impossible because others have to do things in order for this change to occur.
I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed I took something out of the freezer for dinner tonight, a pasta bake I made a while back, and it’s not actually what I want. I feel I ought to eat it because it’s easy and it’s there but actually it’s terrible, and my loss of love for cooking annoys me. I’m now getting annoyed by myself. Oh heck, run for your lives. I’m annoyed.
I’m annoyed by the news, the roads, my trainers, people who text while driving. Banks that make fuck ups. Cream carpets and socks which leave bobbles on that cream carpet. I fixed my vacuum cleaner this morning, so I could hoover some bobbles up from the carpet, but in doing so I scratched a whole load of skin from my knuckles causing them to bleed over a pair of pale trousers and a white t-shirt I was wearing. SO I HAD TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES! This annoyed me.
I swore a lot in a field. In order to expel some anger and annoyance. When simply, probably, actually, all I need to do is just unravel these entangled threads and deal with each thing one by one. Slowly and calmly.
It doesn’t make it any less annoying though.
Is there anything annoying you today? If so, what? Please let me know by commenting in my hole. It could help. If we pool resources then maybe the annoying things will all just fuck off.
Thanks for reading.