An interesting fact about me. For some odd reason I really like the song Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep. And, all weekend while at Britmums Live, I had this song stuck in my head as the event was full of mums and dads who’d left the homestead for a much deserved weekend or day, meeting old friends and new, learning new things, being inspired or remotivated in terms of blogging and generally having a laugh.
Where’s your mamma gone? Wheres your mamma gone?
She’s at Britmums innit.
500 delegates, attendees, whatever word you want to use. Lots going on. How to condense it all into enough words to give you an idea about it but without boring you stupid? Well, here goes.
B – Brilliantly organised. I have some experience of doing similar things and I know how tough and exhausting they can be in the run up and at the time, so hats off to them. The Britmums organisers and helpers were all fantastic and I’d like to thank them once again for inviting me to be on the panel.
R -Really surprised by seeing men in pants serving wine at the evening pre-BiB awards drinks. Wondered for a sec if they were the other dads on the blogging panel and we’d been put to another use and I’d not got the memo.
I – I did not have a wank under the table during the closing session, for the record. I went off to the loo, left my laptop unlocked and “someone” decided to have fun. It’s a shame that, perhaps, my funniest ever tweet wasn’t written by me.
Actually, I think I phrased the above incorrectly. It sounds like I didn’t have a wank under the table but went off to the loo to have one. I did not. I did not wank under the table or anywhere else for that matter, your honour.
T – Tits. It was really hard to cop a look at everyone’s nametags when they were at tit level. Me and my one working eye and lots of badges which I found hard to read. So, I’m sorry if it looked like I was looking at your tits. I was just looking at your badge.
Except for you. I was looking at your tits.
M -Massive Toblerone, brought for me by her incredibleness @Swiss_Liss. Looky looky. My gran always told me to never eat anything bigger than your own head but, in this case, I might let this piece of advice slide.
U – Underwhelmed a bit at times by the content of the meeting and the various discussions. I did go to one which I thought was excellent but some of the others didn’t interest me. Perhaps next time there could be more about creativity, what you do when you can’t blog, how do you get your ideas, finding your voice etc. The creative side rather than the technical perhaps. That being said I’m not the one in charge and I blog very differently to others. Possibly because I have an important penis.
M – Most uttered phrase by me? “Oh fuck, my phone’s run out of charge.” As such I didn’t get any photos. And wonder if my phone is just a bit shit. Annoying as I wanted to tweet and take photos but it wasn’t to be.
S – Shaking like a loon while all my thoughts and words evacuated my headbox in the hour before the Dad Bloggers panel I was speaking at. Thanks to all those who held me together and reinstalled my confidence while it was threatening to disappear via my bumhole.
I – I could list the people I met and chatted to, had fun with, had a right old laugh with, but I won’t as it would be a massive list. They know how much I had fun with them, hopefully, and to everyone I met I’d like to say how much of an honour it was. If I didn’t meet you then I’m sorry and hopefully we’ll meet another time.
V -Very self-conscious for about 6 minutes that amongst 500 delegates there were about 30 men. But, really, that dissipated when I realised that everyone was so incredibly welcoming and friendly, we were all just people in a room getting on, and that’s what makes life rich and interesting.
E -Except I will mention one person I met who I’ve been wanting to meet for ages. Simon, @sessionblogger AKA @musodad. He didn’t come to the conference but came along after work to meet some people and say hi. He’s the same dude in real life as on Twitter and a total legend, like everyone I met in fact. Simon is, as he says of others, a beautiful man. Someone who restores your faith in humanity and in life just by spending time in his company.
So that’s that. I could go on but I won’t. I had a great time and I’d like to thank the special people I spent time with, who made me feel welcome and comfortable, and who I now consider friends. I plan to go again next year, if I can. Hopefully I’ll see you all there.
I did come away with one question though. Just one, but a fairly big one. And it’s been on my mind since so I have to share.
I’d love to know who, during the pre-BiB awards drinks session, gave my arse a right old grope.
Thanks for reading.