Excitement almost made me shit myself

If I had a slack shitter I would’ve cacked my pants.

I hadn’t seen T and K for a few days. The car was parked very close to a big and busy road, but it was on the pavement as it must be in order to park. I was getting K out of her car seat, roadside, and my ex-wife was getting T out of his on the other side. All of a sudden I see T about a foot away from my leg, merely inches away from the busiest road in town, with cars in the distance about to roar past.

In my head he’d get scared by the cars and run.Β In my mind the cars could’ve killed him. In an instant these terrible thoughts and images came into my headbox and I reacted. His life flashed before my eyes in a nanosecond of a nanosecond.

So, the first thing I do with my son, after almost a week of not seeing the kids, is shout at him. He moved to safety and stood there sucking his thumb looking dejected.

I cuddled him when we got inside and I explained, calmly and softly, how he must never do that again. He nodded and said he understood but his excitement at seeing me had waned. He looked upset and I was responsible for that. My bad.

T knows the rules, but when he gets excited he forgets them. This is common. Take a child into a stimulating, exciting environment and suddenly they’ll behave badly. You’re waiting for entry to the soft play session and, your normally beautifully behaved child runs away, touches things they shouldn’t, and ignores you. This is normal. In their excitement they simply forget. It’s not bad behaviour if you try to understand that, simply, excitement takes over. Or is it?

But YOU don’t forget and, as a parent, you’ll do the thing that you have to do. We’re adults and have got past this. Haven’t we? Or was my reaction just another version of his. In my terror I forgot the rules and I should’ve dealt with it calmly.

Of course, I felt terrible shouting at my son, but it’s for his own good and I did what I did. Can’t take it back now.

When the kids were at the stage when they go cruising around the house, they took an interest in the dangerous stuff. Obviously. I wanted to toddler proof the house by removing anything that might injure them, anything they might drop and break, anything that might cause them damage or pain. But if you do then you live in an empty house. My wife, sensibly, said that they had to learn the word ‘no’ and so we didn’t remove anything. But it is exhausting and sometimes demoralising when all you say to another human being all day is the word ‘No’. It feels negative and draining. But sometimes it’s the only way.

“No. NO. No. No. No, don’t touch that. No. NO! No?No, not there. No. NO!”

No wonder one of the first words they pick up when they really start to communicate is ‘No’. Which is equally frustrating and demoralising. @motherventing wrote a great post about this recently and I think every parent can identify with this.

I know what I did was right. I know I was being a responsible parent. I couldn’t simply deal with it in a soft, calm manner, not at that exact moment. I know that T will not do it again. I know that I believe he is capable of understanding just how dangerous what he did was.

It didn’t stop me from almost filling my underwear with my own bum chocolate.

Did I do the right thing? Are there times when your kids have also almost made you poop your insides out? What did you do? Please share your stories and experiences, because right now I’m wondering if I’m just too panicky, or if there is another way.

Thanks for reading.

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30 responses to “Excitement almost made me shit myself

  1. You completely did the right thing, I had a similar experience with Harvey, we were going to feed the ducks, we were both excited, I asked Harvey not to go near the edge of the river, he listened he said yes but I took my eye off the ball whilst I was sorting the bread and he ran so quick I couldn’t have caught him I shouted HARVEY STOP so loud I scared myself, as all I could see in my mind was him falling down the 10ft drop into the fast flowing river, he started crying he stopped dead and ran back towards me i hugged him tightly and explained the danger. He always stays close by now. Another great post thanks for sharing!!

    • Thanks. I think I did the right thing but I’m just wondering whether I’m capable of a more touchy-feely approach when I’m about to shit myself to death. Seems not.
      Thanks for reading and commenting. πŸ™‚

  2. I would scream the house down if Teddy did something like that, and I have definitely raised my voice to a serious shout when he is in impending danger. Believe me, T won’t forget it. Life is not meant to be puppies and snowflakes – life is real and your arents are there to love you and keep you safe. You’re batting 1000%. xx

    • Thanks for the support pardner. Sometimes one wonders whether you’re doing the right thing, but I guess instinct is the key thing in parenting and mine told me to do this. I dare say it won’t be the last time.
      Thanks for reading and commenting. πŸ™‚

  3. I’m exactly the same, I can’t help myself, even when they trip over by running too fast I can’t help but shout because I’m really scared they’ve hurt themselves. It’s a natural reaction and an effective one too, as they know when to stop and listen, they know when it’s really serious. You might have been the baddie for a short while but he will thank you in the long run

    • Thanks. Sometimes this parenting mullarky is really really hard on the old brainbox!
      Thanks for reading and commenting. πŸ™‚

  4. It won’t be the last time you react like that. It’s pure adrenaline. And it worked. Sure, shouting at him feels horrible and excessive but imagine if you hadn’t… You are an ace-skillz daddy and don’t you forget it. Oh and thanks for the linky-loo πŸ™‚

  5. You have to shout, or even hit (controversial) when they are in imminent danger. When my daughter nearly touched the hot oven I had to slap her hand to stop her. If I had shouted she would have been burnt. I hate that I did it, but a light slap was better than a burn for life.

    • Good point well made. We do what we have to do.
      Thanks for reading and for making such a great comment.

  6. Speaking as an over cautious parent I feel you reacted in a very natural manner. We’ve all shouted at our kids in panic and I also feel that, providing it’s not a regular occurance, it reinforces the seriousness of a situation.
    Roads are dangerous and children need to be aware of this. And maybe consider getting some Tena for men……

    • Do they do Tena for men? *Pops to Boots*
      Thanks for reading and for commenting. πŸ™‚

  7. I think every parent in their right mind would react in the same way, it’s a knee jerk reaction, glad he is ok. Hope you all had a fun time together after

  8. I honestly don’t think there is a proper reaction for that sort of situation. If you hadn’t have shouted then he probably would have just ignored you. I once shouted at my daughter as she was about to take a step down the stairs and she stopped instantly.
    If you can’t reach them in time to stop the danger, the only thing to do is to scare them enough to get them to stop! You absolutely did the right thing.

    • ‘In the time’, gosh that’s the key thing.
      Thanks for making me feel like I’m not a shouty loon of a parent. πŸ™‚

  9. Whenever I read anything like this I think to myself “all this to come”. Which is lovely and horrible at the same time.

  10. It’s a parental reflex to shout at times like that – you did absolutely the right thing. Feels awful when they look so stunned but it’s keeping them safe and teaching them a life lesson.

  11. Yeah you did the right thing – I had to shout at my 6 yr old yesterday as she run out in the round to catching Daddy and the baby up when I was next to her. We were on an exciting missing to get to a free party in the park – she just wanted to get there – almost gave me a heart attack.

    • Thanks for reading and for commenting. I hate shouting at my kids but sometimes one has to. I got commended for shouting at T when he tried to alight a moving carousel once by the playleader at the event we were at. ‘Thank god you shouted. It stopped him from getting injured. I thought people had stopped doing that’ she said.

  12. Oh poo. Having a technology hates me day- just commented but got a weird error. No doubt shall type this and end up commenting twice!!

    However- my main point was that the only time I ever smacked my now almost 16 yr old daughter was when she was about three and ran into the road. I was so freaked/panicked/cross that my immediate response was to snack her round the backside and shout. Then I cried. Weird logic to ‘YOU NEARLY HURT YOURSELF, SO I HURT YOU’ but it was an immediate reaction not a considered response!

    • Don’t know if it that weird. Instinct takes over. It’s only in the post-match analysis do we question ourselves.
      Thanks for taking the time to comment and recomment. You’re awesome. πŸ™‚

  13. I dont think you can say instinct is wrong. You shouted because you were frightened and you needed to warn T of the danger. Ok, he was sulky with you but better that than severely injured or worse.

    The main thing is he will not do it again. You have explained why you shouted, you just need to move on now. I’m sure most people would have done exactly the same in your shoes, I know I would have.

    Don’t beat yourself up Spence, you are just protecting your precious son x

    • Thanks very much. It’s always good to get such confirmation from others though. πŸ™‚

  14. Great post. With 5 kids I have been here many times. Lol.
    As a parent it is our natural instinct to keep our children safe and to protect them. Unfortunately shouting is often the first thing that we can do to grab their attention in a dangerous situation, but if it works then so be it. It’s horrible at the time, especially if it upsets them, but I’d rather have a child that is upset for a little while than a child who, in your scenario, has just been hit by oncoming traffic. Don’t feel bad. You are doing what any good parent does and protecting your children. πŸ™‚ x

    • Thank you. The worst thing about it is the very next day he unbuckled his car seat, opened the bloody CAR DOOR and ran to me, which was even worse in some ways. Did he learn anything from me shouting? No. Is he a bright intelligent little boy who could understand? Yes. Was he just excited to see me? Yes.
      So, how do we stop him from doing that again?

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. πŸ™‚

      • Yikes. He sounds exactly like my son. Lol. It very true. They forget themselves when excitement takes over and all we can do is keep on telling them and hope that one day they remember. πŸ™‚ x

      • Exactly. Vigilence and keeping on with lessons in safety and telling them what is safe and what isn’t. My heart couldn’t take it if he did it again.

  15. I shouted at my over-adventurous 18 month old this week for heading towards the lake. He looked at me and then carried on towards the lake…… luckily I rugby tackled him to safety. He regards a scream of no as a personal challenge!!

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