An Olympic Meme

Thanks to @ageingmatron for tagging me on this Olympic themed meme. To be quite honest, I couldn’t give a series of massive fucks about the Olympics but I’m one of these people who changes their mind, so I could really get into it once it starts. Either that or moan about it constantly.

Anyhow, here are the questions, and here are my answers, which is traditionally how these things are done innit?

  • If every-day tasks were Olympic events what would you get a gold medal in?

Nappy changing. Moaning.
Actually I’m very good at cleaning windows. Not that I’ve considered a career in it or anything, I just enjoy doing them. Vinegar in water and newspaper pages to dry them off and get them sparkling. I shit you not.

  • As a child (or now even) did you excel at a particular sport and if so which one?

I loved the luge but there wasn’t really anywhere to practice in Battersea. Or any snow.

  • Michael Phelps (swimmer) or Michael Johnson (runner) – which sport appeals to you more?

I can’t swim, but want to, but not badly enough and I HATE running. I just look stupid when I run. Phelps is a bit of a noob but I have a lot of time for Michael Jackson when he’s on telly. Shaa-mow.
Oh, Michael Johnson? Yeah. Him too. Although I didn’t like the thing with the chimp. That was creepy.
Oh, Michael Johnson! Him. Yeah. He’s good. But the fact that he’s good doesn’t change the fact that when I run I look stupid, or drown when I swim.

  • How fast can you get out of bed and ready to go out the door if you miss the alarm and sleep in?

Sleeping in? What’s that? I’ve been a parent for 3 years! In therory, under a minute with no grooming. I’ll probably swear for that minute but it’s inconsequential as I’m never late and never sleep in. I’m always stupidly early for stuff.
If you factoring in showering and teeth brushing the it probably still takes me a minute. Maybe three.

  • What fantasy sport would you like to see made into an Olympic event?

That thing they did on Gladiators with the massive cushioned Q-Tips would be a good one. I’d like the Olympics to change a bit, and be a bit more like It’s a Knockout. Which I really miss.

  • Claim-to-fame time: have you ever met an Olympian and who was it?


Not knowingly. I think I’d know because, by law, Olympians have to always wear a tracksuit and have their medals round their necks. ALL THE TIME.

Actually, that’s balls. I remember meeting Daley Thompson in Battersea Park just after the 1984 Olympics when he was The Don. We had a school sports day and he was training in the park. He picked a crap day for it as my entire school went mental but I did shake his hand as I was a team captain.

  • What event in past Olympics can you remember most vividly?


Daley Thompson doing the decathlon. I had that game on my ZX Spectrum and broke my joystick waggling it from side to side. Not a euphemism.
Usain Bolt in the 100 metres last time around.
Zola Budd fucking up Mary Decker.
I remember the US boycotting the Moscow Games in 1980.The Moscow Games had a funky mascot too. Look. Here’s Mishka the Olympic Bear.

  • Tuning in at home, or tickets clamped ready in sweaty palms?


Ignoring it. I’m going to be doing this instead.

  • Who do you think most deserves a gold medal (any walk of life not just Olympians)?

Every parent who has a difficult day and gets through it.
Anyone who has been an addict and quit that thing for good.
Anyone who suffers from a period of depression and gets out the other side alive.
Anyone who keeps their sanity while going through a relationship split or a divorce.

And so it’s now time for me to tag some people to keep the meme love alive. If you don’t then a baby otter gets eaten by a donkey. I’ll pass the baton onto the wonderful @MelkshamMum and @jbmumofone.

So, do the meme or the otter gets it.

Thanks for reading.
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12 responses to “An Olympic Meme

  1. Goddammit! I SWORE that I would accept no more tags but now…
    a) It is YOU asking
    b) Am COMPLETELY DELIGHTED that you are blogging again…and
    c) That is one cute otter.

    Go on then.
    (I am actually often quite thrilled to be tagged just not in that 40 odd questions one that did the rounds ages ago.)
    I will be all over this tomorrow promise.

    Thanks dude 🙂 x

  2. I just about remember the Zola Budd incident, didn’t the whingeing Decker moan that she had spiked her even though she was barefoot? crazy athletes, I’m sticking to the sofa, much safer. Thanks for the tag, you can leave the otter alone now 😉

    • Thanks gorgeous. Yes. She ran without shoes. Sounds dangerous if you ask me. The running thing that is not the no shoes thing, although that sounds dangerous too.

  3. WEHEY! I am so thrilled that you are back. Swore I would do no more of these but as
    a) It’s you asking
    b) You are back, again WEHEY
    c) that is one cute otter
    …I would be DELIGHTED. Will be all over it asap, promise x

  4. I love this post. I love who should get a medal, all of these people should. I too, am blase about the Olympics, running, who wants to watch that? Anyway, I’m sure I’ll end up in front of the television if only to eaplain to my son about sports and show him a part of our world that comes around every 4 yers or so. cxx

    • Thanks for commenting. I was a bit ‘meh’ about the last one but found myself getting into it as it went on. When it’s almost 24/7 coverage what can you do?

    • I’m awesome at the window cleaning. Seriously, here’s my tip, and this came from my grandad.
      Wash first with a little detergent in some water.
      Rinse using a bucket of water with a few dashes of vinegar in. The cheap malty stuff is fine.
      Dry it off with a sheet of newspaper. But not The Guardian, obviously.
      Windows sparkle and you’re the envy of your neighbourhood.
      I’ll be over on Wednesday. 🙂

    • I hadn’t thought about doing that. I might now.*

      *I won’t.**

      **I bloody will!

      *I won’t.

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